I Love Motorboating - Long Sleeve T-Shirt Size:3XL because that golden Albertus font

because that golden Albertus font is basically a binding contract for dread

A golden-yellow illustration of Clubber Lang in a fighting stance wearing boxing gloves and a championship belt stands between "19" and "81

Lincoln freed an entire nation and his reward is being the mascot for the same hot dog joke every uncle has made since 1987

and palm trees

Red and green confetti squares scatter around the figure

I Love Motorboating - Long Sleeve T-Shirt Size:3XL because that golden Albertus fontSlapping "I Heart Motor Boating" in the most wholesome souvenir shop font is the thinnest plausible deniability since "I was holding it for a friend." Nobody has ever bought this because they're passionate about Yamahas. The Details: Large distressed white letter "I" sits above a solid red heart symbol in the classic civic pride format. Bold distressed white stacked text reads "MOTOR BOATING" beneath the heart, with all elements centered in a vertical